第十九章（第8/16页）

“或许！或许你的确反复无常。可你必须说服我，让我相信这种改变的意义所在。我无法相信你会爱上邓肯·福布斯。”“可你为何要相信这些呢？你只需要跟我离婚，不必相信我的感情。”“我为什么要跟你离婚？”“因为我不希望继续生活在这里。你也不再需要我。”“你错了！我从未改变。在我看来，既然你是我的妻子，就应该安坐家中，安安静静，体体面面。暂且把个人感情放在一边，我可以向你保证，我已将感情的事尽数抛开。只因为你的朝三暮四，就将拉格比的生活秩序完全破坏，将这种体面的生活状态彻底摧毁，对我而言，简直跟死没什么两样。”沉默片刻，她说：“我无能为力。我必须离开。我希望有个孩子。”他同样陷入沉默。

"And is it for the child's sake you must go?" he asked at length.

“你决意离开，是因为孩子的缘故？”他问。

She nodded.

她点点头。

"And why? Is Duncan Forbes so keen on his spawn?" "Surely keener than you would be," she said.

“可为什么？难道邓肯·福布斯如此珍视自己的孽种？”“无疑比你珍视得多。”她说。

"But really? I want my wife, and I see no reason for letting her go. If she likes to bear a child under my roof, she is welcome, and the child is welcome: provided that the decency and order of life is preserved. Do you mean to tell me that Duncan Forbes has a greater hold over you? I don't believe it.” There was a pause.

“此话当真？我需要我的妻子，我没理由眼睁睁看她离开。如果她愿意在我的屋檐下生下孩子，我会赞成她这样做，并真心接纳孩子，只要行为准则不被破坏，生活秩序得以存续。你的意思是，邓肯·福布斯对你更具吸引力？我实在难以相信。”沉默又一次降临。

"But don't you see," said Connie. "I must go away from you, and I must live with the man I love.” "No, I don't see it! I don't give tuppence for your love, nor for the man you love. I don't believe in that sort of cant.” "But you see, I do." "Do you? My dear Madam, you are too intelligent, I assure you, to believe in your own love for Duncan Forbes. Believe me, even now you really care more for me. So why should I give in to such nonsense!"

“可你难道还不理解，”康妮说，“我必须离开你，跟我爱的人长相厮守。”“对，我确实无法理解！我才不在乎你的爱情，也不会把你的情郎放在眼里。我更不相信你连篇的鬼话。”“可你知道，这恰恰是我在乎的。”“是吗？亲爱的夫人，我深信，你是那样的聪颖明慧，根本不可能相信自己会爱上邓肯·福布斯。相信我，就算此时此刻，你心里在乎的依然是我。因此，我为何要相信那些胡言乱语！”

She felt he was right there. And she felt she could keep silent no longer.

她感觉他的话确有道理。她感觉自己再也无法遮遮掩掩。

"Because it isn't Duncan that I do love," she said, looking up at him.

“因为我爱的根本不是邓肯。”她说着，抬起头望着他。

"We only said it was Duncan, to spare your feelings." "To spare my feelings?" "Yes! Because who I really love, and it'll make you hate me, is Mr. Mellors, who was our gamekeeper here.” If he could have sprung out of his chair, he would have done so. His face went yellow, and his eyes bulged with disaster as he glared at her.

“我们拿邓肯当作挡箭牌，只是为了照顾你的情绪。”“照顾我的情绪？”“没错！因为如果我说出自己真正爱的人，你一定会恨我，他就是梅勒斯先生，我们曾经的守林人。”如果他能做到的话，早已从轮椅上跳起来。他的脸气得蜡黄，眼睛努出框外，死死瞪着她。