第五章（第14/16页）

"Every sort of a good time, damn it, every sort! Dress, jewels up to a point, any nightclub you like, know anybody you want to know, live the pace...travel and be somebody wherever you go… Darn it, every sort of good time.” He spoke it almost in a brilliancy of triumph, and Connie looked at him as if dazzled, and really feeling nothing at all. Hardly even the surface of her mind was tickled at the glowing prospects he offered her. Hardly even her most outside self responded, that at any other time would have been thrilled. She just got no feeling from it, she couldn't "go off". She just sat and stared and looked dazzled, and felt nothing, only somewhere she smelt the extraordinarily unpleasant smell of the bitch-goddess.

“各种各样的快乐，妈的，五彩缤纷的快乐！高档的衣服，名贵的首饰，你想去哪家夜店就去，想结交哪位名流都没问题，想买什么都可以……去哪里旅行都会被敬若上宾……见鬼，五光十色的快乐生活。”他说得眉飞色舞，而康妮也用似乎是惊异的眼神看着他，但心里却无动于衷。他所许诺的美好图景，甚至不能在她的心湖荡起丝毫涟漪。甚至连她最外在的自我都没有半点反应，若换个时间，她说不定早就热血沸腾了。她对此毫无感觉，没法“找到兴奋点”。她只是干坐在那里，注视着眼前的男人，摆出一副意乱情迷的模样，但内心却丝毫不为所动，只是嗅到堕落女神那极令人反感的骚味。

Mick sat on tenterhooks, leaning forward in his chair, glaring at her almost hysterically: and whether he was more anxious out of vanity for her to say Yes! Or whether he was more panic-stricken for fear she should say Yes!—who can tell? "I should have to think about it," she said. "I couldn't say now. It may seem to you Clifford doesn't count, but he does. When you think how disabled he is...” "Oh damn it all! If a fellow's going to trade on his disabilities, I might begin to say how lonely I am, and always have been, and all the rest of the my-eye-Betty-Martin sob-stuff! Damn it all, if a fellow's got nothing but disabilities to recommend him...” He turned aside, working his hands furiously in his trousers pockets. That evening he said to her: "You're coming round to my room tonight, aren't you? I don't darn know where your room is.” "All right!" she said. He was a more excited lover that night, with his strange, small boy's frail nakedness. Connie found it impossible to come to her crisis before he had really finished his. And he roused a certain craving passion in her, with his little boy's nakedness and softness; she had to go on after he had finished, in the wild tumult and heaving of her loins, while he heroically kept himself up, and present in her, with all his will and self-offering, till she brought about her own crisis, with weird little cries.

米克如坐针毡，身体前倾，用近乎歇斯底里的目光死死盯着她，究竟是急于听到她肯定的答案，以满足自己的虚荣心，还是口不对心，惊慌失措地唯恐她答应呢？这只有老天才晓得。“我得考虑一下，”她说，“现在没法给你答复。或许你认为可以不必顾及克利福德，但我做不到。只要想到他终身残废的事实……”“真他妈见鬼！要是有人总拿自己是残废来做借口，我还想说自己多么孤单呢，自始至终都孑然一身，还有那些琐碎无聊的屁事！见鬼去吧，要是哪个家伙只靠自己残疾的身体来博取同情……”他转过身去，双手在裤兜里抓狂似地乱动。傍晚时分，他央求她说：“夜里来我房间，好么？我根本搞不清你的房间在哪儿。”“好的！”她说。那晚他兴奋异常，他的赤裸的肌体在康妮面前如同一个陌生的小男孩一样柔弱。康妮发觉，自己根本还没有达到高潮，他就一泄如注了。他小男孩般的赤裸的柔软身躯挑起她体内炽烈的情欲。在他射精之后，她还得继续扭动，臀部高低起伏，而他仍然英勇地保持着坚挺，调动全部的性意念和奉献情怀，在她的体内支撑着，直到她达到性欲的巅峰，发出奇异而细微的呻吟。