第十七章（第14/21页）

她忍不住向邓肯倾诉起来。她没说自己就是守林人的情妇，只是说很喜欢他，并向福布斯透露了他过往的经历。

"Oh," said Forbes, "you'll see, they'll never rest till they've pulled the man down and done him in. If he has refused to creep up into the middle classes, when he had a chance; and if he's a man who stands up for his own sex, then they'll do him in. It's the one thing they won't let you be, straight and open in your sex. You can be as dirty as you like. In fact the more dirt you do on sex the better they like it. But if you believe in your own sex, and won't have it done dirt to: they'll down you. It's the one insane taboo left: sex as a natural and vital thing. They won't have it, and they'll kill you before they'll let you have it. You'll see, they'll hound that man down. And what's he done, after all? If he's made love to his wife all ends on, hasn't he a right to? She ought to be proud of it. But you see, even a low bitch like that turns on him, and uses the hyena instinct of the mob against sex, to pull him down. You have a snivel and feel sinful or awful about your sex, before you're allowed to have any. Oh, they'll hound the poor devil down.” Connie had a revulsion in the opposite direction now. What had he done, after all? What had he done to herself, Connie, but give her an exquisite pleasure and a sense of freedom and life? He had released her warm, natural sexual flow. And for that they would hound him down.

“哦，”福布斯说，“你就瞧着吧，人们不把他搞垮，不把他打倒，绝不会善罢甘休。既然他不愿借机爬进中产阶级，既然他矢志维护自己的性爱，那人们就会将他整倒。他们无法容忍的事情，是对性爱的开诚布公，不加掩饰。你想怎么肮脏下流，尽可随心所欲。事实上，他们乐得看你在性爱方面无耻淫荡。但若是你坚信自己的性爱，不愿龌龊地对待此事，他们便要将你打垮。性爱是硕果仅存的疯狂禁忌，是人类与生俱来的关键本能。他们无法得到，也绝不会容许你拥有，否则就要将你击垮。你等着看吧，他们会对那家伙穷追猛打的。可他到底做了什么呢？要是他只跟自己老婆做爱，那就万事皆休，这原本就是他的权力不是吗？她还会为自己的魅力感到骄傲呢。可你瞧瞧，甚至连那只下贱的母狗都掉过头来攻击他，发挥自己凶暴的本性，来反对性爱，来将他整垮。在品尝性爱之前，你必须先嗅嗅清楚，如果能够感到罪恶，觉得难堪，才能得到许可。噢，人们非要把那个可怜鬼弄死不行。”现在，康妮的情感再度向相反的方向发生突变。他到底做了什么呢？他对她本人，对康妮到底做了什么？只不过让她体验到淋漓尽致的快感，感受到自由和生活的美好。她那温暖自然的性欲洪流，因他完全得以释放。为此，他们恨不得将他生吞活嚼。

No no, it should not be. She saw the image of him, naked white with tanned face and hands, looking down and addressing his erect penis as if it were another being, the odd grin flickering on his face. And she heard his voice again: Tha's got the nicest woman's arse of anybody! And she felt his hand warmly and softly closing over her tail again, over her secret places, like a benediction. And the warmth ran through her womb, and the little flames flickered in her knees, and she said: Oh, no! I mustn't go back on it! I must not go back on him. I must stick to him and to what I had of him, through everything. I had no warm, flamy life till he gave it me. And I won't go back on it.

不行，不行，不能那样做。眼前浮现出他的身影，白皙的裸体，古铜色脸庞和双手，低头对着自己挺立的阴茎倾诉，脸上闪耀着怪异的笑容，好像它也拥有生命。耳边再次响起他的那句赞美：恁拥有世间女子最美的屁股！她感觉到他温热的双手轻柔地覆盖着她的臀丘，遮蔽住她隐秘的所在，仿佛要献上祝福。股股暖流从她的子宫淌过，小小爱火在她的膝间燃烧，她说：噢，不！我绝不能违背承诺！我绝不能背弃他！我要跟他生死与共，永不分离，哪怕海枯石烂。直到遇见他，我才真正拥有了温暖炽热的生活。我要坚守信诺。