第十五章（第8/18页）

He looked down and saw the milky bits of forget-me-nots in the hair on his groin.

他低头看着自己的腹股沟，阴毛丛中绽放着几朵乳白色的勿忘我。

"Ay! That's where to put forget-me-nots, in the man-hair, or the maiden-hair. But don't you care about the future?” She looked up at him.

“唉！这儿真是摆放勿忘我的佳处，不管男女。可难道你丝毫不关心未来吗？”她抬头望着他。

"Oh, I do, terribly!" She said.

“噢，当然，我非常关心将来！”她说。

"Because when I feel the human world is doomed, has doomed itself by its own mingy beastliness, then I feel the Colonies aren't far enough. The moon wouldn't be far enough, because even there you could look back and see the earth, dirty, beastly, unsavoury among all the stars: made foul by men. Then I feel I've swallowed gall, and it's eating my inside out, and nowhere's far enough away to get away. But when I get a turn, I forget it all again. Though it's a shame, what's been done to people these last hundred years: men turned into nothing but labour-insects, and all their manhood taken away, and all their real life. I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake. But since I can't, an' nobody can, I'd better hold my peace, an' try an'live my own life: if I've got one to live, which I rather doubt.” The thunder had ceased outside, but the rain which had abated, suddenly came striking down, with a last blench of lightning and mutter of departing storm. Connie was uneasy. He had talked so long now, and he was really talking to himself not to her. Despair seemed to come down on him completely, and she was feeling happy, she hated despair. She knew her leaving him, which he had only just realized inside himself had plunged him back into this mood. And she triumphed a little.

“因为我深知，人类卑劣的兽性已经不可救药，世界注定难逃覆灭，我觉得自己距离殖民地并不遥远。月亮也并非遥不可及，因为甚至在那儿，你也可回望地球，审视繁星中的这颗行星，因为人类的罪孽，变得如此肮脏野蛮，令人生厌。那时，我感觉自己满心怨恨，灵魂彻底被吞噬，去哪里避难都不嫌远。但转念一想，又会将一切都抛诸脑后。虽然近百年来，统治阶层对劳苦大众的所作所为可耻到极点。人们变成只知劳作的昆虫，男子气概荡然无存，美好的生活全被剥夺。我希望将机器从地球表面清除干净，彻底终结工业时代，像修正荒谬的错误。但我做不到，没人做得到，我只好保持沉默，尝试过只属于自己的生活，当然，这种生活是否存在，我始终抱有怀疑。”外面的雷声已息，但先前渐弱的雨刹那间再度倾泻如注，伴随着最后的厉闪，以及渐渐远去的闷雷。康妮不安起来。他刚才的滔滔不绝，只是在自说自话，而并非对她倾诉。绝望的情绪似乎完全将他攫住，但她却暗自开心，她憎恶绝望。她知道自己将要离开他，而他的内心也已品尝到离别的苦楚，这让他再度陷入痛苦绝望的情绪里。而她则觉得有几分得意。

She opened the door and looked at the straight heavy rain, like a steel curtain, and had a sudden desire to rush out into it, to rush away. She got up, and began swiftly pulling off her stockings, then her dress and underclothing, and he held his breath. Her pointed keen animal breasts tipped and stirred as she moved. She was ivory-coloured in the greenish light. She slipped on her rubber shoes again and ran out with a wild little laugh, holding up her breasts to the heavy rain and spreading her arms, and running blurred in the rain with the eurhythmic dance movements she had learned so long ago in Dresden. It was a strange pallid figure lifting and falling, bending so the rain beat and glistened on the full haunches, swaying up again and coming belly-forward through the rain, then stooping again so that only the full loins and buttocks were offered in a kind of homage towards him, repeating a wild obeisance.