第十二章（第8/15页）

And she put her arms round him under his shirt, but she was afraid, afraid of his thin, smooth, naked body, that seemed so powerful, afraid of the violent muscles. She shrank, afraid.

她将双臂探进他的衬衫，环绕着他的身体，依然心怀畏惧，害怕他那瘦削光滑、充满力量的裸体，害怕他那强健有力的肌肉。她又惊又怕，不断退缩着。

And when he said, with a sort of little sigh: "eh, tha'rt nice!" something in her quivered, and something in her spirit stiffened in resistance: stiffened from the terribly physical intimacy, and from the peculiar haste of his possession.

他轻叹着：“啊，它们真不错！”他这样赞美她娇躯的美妙，这时，她身体的某些部分迎合起来，而心底的某些角落却拼命顽抗着，抗拒性爱的暴风骤雨，抗拒他迫不及待的占有。

And this time the sharp ecstasy of her own passion did not overcome her; she lay with her ends inert on his striving body, and do what she might, her spirit seemed to look on from the top of her head, and the butting of his haunches seemed ridiculous to her, and the sort of anxiety of his penis to come to its little evacuating crisis seemed farcical. Yes, this was love, this ridiculous bouncing of the buttocks, and the wilting of the poor, insignificant, moist little penis. This was the divine love! After all, the moderns were right when they felt contempt for the performance; for it was a performance. It was quite true, as some poets said, that the God who created man must have had a sinister sense of humour, creating him a reasonable being, yet forcing him to take this ridiculous posture, and driving him with blind craving for this ridiculous performance. Even a Maupassant found it a humiliating anti-climax. Men despised the intercourse act, and yet did it.

这次，蚀骨销魂的爱欲并未将她征服。她躺在那里，双手软塌塌地搭在他奋力挺动的身体上。即使尽量迎合，她清醒的思维似乎仍扮演着旁观者的角色。他臀部的耸动依然滑稽至极，而他的阳物为求得片刻的欢愉，急功近利地挺进，更是无聊透顶。没错，这就是爱情，屁股来回的耸动荒唐可笑，那根可有可无的阴茎萎缩时总是湿嗒嗒的，煞是可怜。这就是神圣的爱情！归根到底，现代人对这种行为的鄙视无可厚非，因为它只不过是种性爱的举动而已。诗人们说得有理，缔造人类的上帝想必怀有恶意的幽默感，将人类塑造成理智的存在，但却让他们在交媾时摆出这种可笑的姿势，使他们对这种滑稽的勾当孜孜以求。甚至连莫泊桑（注：1850-1893，法国小说家）都觉得爱情有虎头蛇尾之嫌，实是丢人现眼的举动。人们对性行为深感不齿，但又乐此不疲。

Cold and derisive her queer female mind stood apart, and though she lay perfectly still, her impulse was to heave her loins, and throw the man out, escape his ugly grip, and the butting over-riding of his absurd haunches. His body was a foolish, impudent, imperfect thing, a little disgusting in its unfinished clumsiness. For surely a complete evolution would eliminate this performance, this 'function'.

她那颗神秘莫测的女人心冷眼旁观，抱着嘲弄的态度。虽然她躺在那里，没有哪怕一丁点反应，心里却恨不得挺起腰肢，将这个臭男人抛出去，逃离他讨厌的怀抱，挣脱其臀部荒唐的撞击。他的肉体本就难言完美，笨拙且不知廉耻，那种残缺不全的丑陋令她感到有些恶心。彻底的进化必然会将此类勾当彻底剔除，将这种功能完全淘汰。

And yet when he had finished, soon over, and lay very very still, receding into silence, and a strange motionless distance, far, farther than the horizon of her awareness, her heart began to weep. She could feel him ebbing away, ebbing away, leaving her there like a stone on a shore. He was withdrawing, his spirit was leaving her. He knew.