第十八章（第4/17页）

“那件事还让你后怕吧？”她跟他隔桌而坐，问道。

He was too thin; she saw it now. His hand lay as she knew it, with the curious loose forgottenness of a sleeping animal. She wanted so much to take it and kiss it. But she did not quite dare.

他瘦得有些脱相，这时她才看得真切。他仍像过去一样，像头熟睡的野兽，将手随意地搁在桌上，好像已经将它遗忘。她多想将它握住，亲吻它。但却没有那样的胆量。

"People are always horrid," he said.

“人言可畏呀。”他说。

"And did you mind very much?" "I minded, as I always shall mind. And I knew I was a fool to mind." "Did you feel like a dog with a tin can tied to its tail? Clifford said you felt like that." He looked at her. It was cruel of her at that moment: for his pride had suffered bitterly.

“你很在意那些风言风语么？”“我在意，我的个性就是如此。虽说我也明白，这样无异于犯傻。”“你感觉自己像条尾巴上拴着锡罐的野狗吗？克利福德说你的感觉很像。”他望着她。此时此刻，她说出这样的话实在有些残忍，因为他的自尊心受到极大的摧残。

"I suppose I did," he said.

“应该是吧。”他说。

She never knew the fierce bitterness with which he resented insult.

她无法察觉，他对这样的侮辱是如何地深恶痛绝。

There was a long pause.

好一会儿没人做声。

"And did you miss me?" she asked.

“你想念我吗？”她问。

"I was glad you were out of it."

“你没有牵扯其中，我深感庆幸。”

Again there was a pause.

又是一阵沉默。

"But did people believe about you and me?" she asked.

“可大家相信关于你我的传闻吗？”她问。

"No! I don't think so for a moment.”

“不！至少现在还不会。”

"Did Clifford?" "I should say not. He put it off without thinking about it. But naturally it made him want to see the last of me." "I'm going to have a child.” The expression died utterly out of his face, out of his whole body. He looked at her with darkened eyes, whose look she could not understand at all: like some dark-flamed spirit looking at her.

“克利福德呢？”“我想他也不会相信。他把事情推到一边，不去费神。不过，传闻让他再也不愿见到我，这也可以理解。”“我怀孕了。”他的表情完全僵住，身体如同木雕泥塑。他那双阴郁的眼睛紧紧盯着她，像某种燃烧着黑色火焰的精灵，她根本无法理解这种表情的含意。

"Say you're glad!" she pleaded, groping for his hand.

“说你很开心！”她拉住他的手，央求着。

And she saw a certain exultance spring up in him. But it was netted down by things she could not understand.

她发觉无法言喻的狂喜从他的心底升腾而起。但这种喜悦却被她难以理解的东西掩盖住。

"It's the future," he said.

“那是将来的事。”他说。

"But aren't you glad?" she persisted.

“可难道你不开心吗？”她追问着。

"I have such a terrible mistrust of the future." "But you needn't be troubled by any responsibility. Clifford would have it as his own, he'd be glad.” She saw him go pale, and recoil under this. He did not answer.

“我从不相信将来。”“可你不需要承担任何责任。克利福德会愉快地接纳它，并视如己出。”她发觉他的脸色变得苍白，流露出厌恶的表情。他没有回答。

"Shall I go back to Clifford and put a little baronet into Wragby?" she asked.

“你要我回到克利福德身边，给拉格比生位小从男爵吗？”她问。

He looked at her, pale and very remote. The ugly little grin flickered on his face.