第三章（第10/12页）

康妮爱上了他，但还是竭力坐在那里刺绣，聆听着男人们谈天说地，不露出任何蛛丝马迹。至于米凯利斯，他表现得无懈可击，依然是昨晚那个忧郁专注而又冷漠的青年，与克利福德夫妇远远地保持着距离，说话时言简意赅，既能投其所好，又做到适可而止，绝不大献殷勤。康妮甚至感觉他准是已经忘记上午的缠绵。他并未遗忘。但他深知自己所处的位置……被边缘化的处境未曾改变，依然游离在上流社会之外。他并没有太把那次偷情放在心上。他明白这并不能让自己从一只无主的流浪狗，摇身一变成为生活安逸的贵族狗，脖颈上套着的金项圈依然是人们嫉恨的目标。

The final fact being that at the very bottom of his soul he WAS an outsider, and anti-social, and he accepted the fact inwardly, no matter how Bond-Streety he was on the outside. His isolation was a necessity to him; just as the appearance of conformity and mixing-in with the smart people was also a necessity.

但最终的真相是，在灵魂深处，米凯利斯的确与上流社会格格不入，他厌恶虚情假意的交际，甚至在心底早已接受了这一事实，不管外表装扮得如何光鲜亮丽。孤独是其性格中不可或缺的组成部分，就像他表现出来的见贤思齐、力争跻身上流同样必不可少。

But occasional love, as a comfort arid soothing, was also a good thing, and he was not ungrateful. On the contrary, he was burningly, poignantly grateful for a piece of natural, spontaneous kindness: almost to tears. Beneath his pale, immobile, disillusioned face, his child's soul was sobbing with gratitude to the woman, and burning to come to her again; just as his outcast soul was knowing he would keep really clear of her.

偶尔涉足爱河，给身心以慰藉，倒也是件好事，而他也并非忘恩负义之辈。相反却对真诚自然的情感，抱有强烈而深切的感激，几乎因此潸然泪下。那张苍白的面孔流露出沉静寂寥的神态，而隐藏在其后的那孩童般的灵魂，更是对眼前女子感激涕零，迫不及待地想再度与她亲近，但那颗被放逐的心灵却深知，自己应该与她划清界限。

He found an opportunity to say to her, as they were lighting the candles in the hall: "May I come?" "I'll come to you," she said.

借着在走廊燃亮蜡烛的机会，他对她说：“我能去找你么？”“我会去找你的。”她应道。

"Oh, good!" He waited for her a long time...but she came.

“哦，太好了！”他等了很久……她姗姗而来。

He was the trembling excited sort of lover, whose crisis soon came, and was finished. There was something curiously childlike and defenceless about his naked body: as children are naked. His defences were all in his wits and cunning, his very instincts of cunning, and when these were in abeyance he seemed doubly naked and like a child, of unfinished, tender flesh, and somehow struggling helplessly.

床笫上的他总是激动异常，全身战栗，高潮来得快，去得也快。他赤裸的身体尤其如同婴孩般无助，因为孩童们总会不着一缕。全赖机智的头脑与狡黠的天性，他才能保全自我，而当此两者无从发挥之时，他就变得加倍赤裸，愈发与孩童无异，肉体娇嫩纤弱，发育尚未完全，徒劳的挣扎显得那样无力。

He roused in the woman a wild sort of compassion and yearning, and a wild, craving physical desire. The physical desire he did not satisfy in her; he was always come and finished so quickly, then shrinking down on her breast, and recovering somewhat his effrontery while she lay dazed, disappointed, lost.

他激发出康妮狂野的怜爱和渴望，还有疯狂的、按耐不住的情欲。但他却无法令她的欲望得以满足，来去匆匆的高潮过后，就会蜷缩在她的胸口，逐渐恢复他无耻的嘴脸，而她却只能怔怔地躺在那里，怅然若失。